Ever since I came back from the PCT, I’ve been reminiscing about walking 2,650 miles all over again. 👣🏕 I find it interesting how all of those hardships & near death experiences I apparently experienced are now just funny memories. I feel motivated to go southbound this time because the desert was one of my favorite experiences. 🌾 I also feel inspired to take at least 2-3 years to hike the trail rather than a span of 5 months. I didn’t enjoy how rushed it all felt & it seemed like I didn’t soak in the people & scenery as much because I felt on a tight schedule. This time around, I feel...

April 24th - September 24th 💫 I walked from Mexico to Canada - 2,653 miles... feels surreal... doesn’t feel as though I “did” anything; seemed as if this whole experience simply moved through me like a vessel. Walking this trail was one huge lesson about living in the moment. I got to meet THE most amazing people... I felt like I was a part of this wild, soul-searching, nature-loving family... Would I do it again? Yes, however, now that I know more about what it’s like, I would do it completely differently. For one, I wouldn’t let my ego guide me. I would want to be fully immersed in the...

I am so grateful that we can practice making love consciously & when we’re away from one another, that we can practice tantric masturbation... it doesn’t even feel right using the word “practice” because it feels so natural with you... as if we’re just in this state of flow... thank you for showing me that this is possible to have. I am so in love with the idea that we are always creating & merging, becoming new again. I love seeing the unfoldment happen... when I feel myself growing more emotionally connected to your mind, I find myself becoming more vulnerable & aroused when we’re...

Last month when I hitched to Ashland, I went to have breakfast immediately & sat outside & this woman decided to sit at the table next to me. We began to talk & I could tell the vibe we had together was complete heart energy! We began talking about our lives & I found out she also lived in Hawaii & that just brought me so much joy. I felt like I was tapping back into that aloha energy. So we ate together & she surprised me by paying for my meal. :’) She even offered me a shower at her place & drove me to the post office to grab my resupply! She had to leave for work overnight so gave me...

I’ve been taking a few days off trail & am spending it staying at my dad’s employee’s house. He’s a very fun character & has made me feel very at home. Yesterday night, we had the place to ourselves. We shared dinner & he began to ask about my family life. It felt very comfortable to communicate with an open heart. I found myself opening up about a lot of personal stuff & I saw the places where I was still hurting about the way my parent’s marriage turned out & how much it appeared to impact the perceptions of my relationships. He seemed to be very receptive & asked questions about how my...

I was about 18 years old & ALREADY for years I had grown this idea in my mind that I need to be “this girl” to be loved by men. I felt I needed to reveal my body in order to receive love & affection. I felt like that belief was justified when I saw that the hat read “show me your tits”. It’s like I have this switch in my mind that says “oh, if one guy thinks like this, they all do...” & I just began to lose my Self even more along the way. I began to associate self-worth with having to show more skin or to have sex with random guys because “that’s what all men want”. I was even raised...

Some eye-opening things I experienced after deciding to not be vegan anymore: -After preaching something for so long, I eventually came to the realization that it’s only a “belief”. I realized that it’s silly to act as if I “know” something as if it’s true... in reality we don’t really “know” anything, & truly experiencing that realization was really humbling. -I didn’t like who I became (in my own experience). I found myself disgusted by anyone who sat next to me & ate meat, I would lecture my family, I even told my best friend of several years that I no longer wanted to be friends with...

Often times when I meet guys who know me from Instagram, I get this perception that they see me as a very sexual girl who will want to hook up with them. I get pretty triggered cause I find myself wanting to inspire people & have them see the innocence/art when I post nude pictures. Sometimes, I even find myself using a nude photo just to capture peoples attention so they could take in the words of the caption... but I find I’m not so interested in doing that anymore... why do I feel like I have to “get” peoples attention through being naked? Why can’t we be JUST as captivated by a photo...

Man, I have been feeling so frustrated... 😪 I’m pretty upset with the way Washington turned out for me. The last section I just did felt completely worthless. Lots of people have been hyping up Washington & that “the views just get better & better”, & yet somehow, each time I decided to start hiking, it just rained. It rained for 5 days in a row & I couldn’t see more than 10 feet in front of me due to clouds... In a way, I’m pretty used to it cause that’s all I’ve gotten out of Washington. The only time I had views was in Goat Rocks Wilderness. I just think it is one of the worst feelings...

A guy named Ed who picked me up hitchhiking last week offered to buy me a meal at the next town that I’d be passing. So he met me at Snoqualmie & drove me an hour & a half away to his town. We got to his place & he said he wanted to give me a ride on his Harley. The moment I got on it & felt the wind, I got brought back to the way I felt in Hawaii. Taking cruises along the road & enjoying what was in front of me. ❤️ He bought me a delicious greasy burger with a tall stack of onion rings. We cruised in his car for a couple hours & I felt the warm air upon my face & all I could think about...

Yesterday, I got picked up by a trail angel named Raymond. He offered to bring me to his house & cook me up some homemade burgers & peanut butter cookies cause he wanted to help motivate me to keep walking to Canada. I cannot even describe how delicious these burgers were. 😱 I even got TWO. The cookies his wife made MELTED in my mouth & she gave me a giant ziploc baggie of them so I could take them along on the trail with me. They got devoured before I even got on trail. 😅 He even let me shower & do laundry - one of a hiker’s favorite tasks to do before getting back into the wilderness!...

As I walked upon the sight of snow, all I felt was an energy of annoyance & frustration. I experienced walking through enough snow in the Sierras & it killed me inside to simply have it in my sight, let alone walk through another patch. Yet, interestingly enough, the second I took the first step onto the snow since central California, all I experienced was a deep sensation of nostalgia. I quickly felt an energy of gratitude & began to reminisce about all of the unforgettable moments in the Sierras. It’s fascinating how it seems we only remember the “good times” & romanticize the “bad...

I feel as though I’ve been in a vortex of “receiving” in this small town. I got a ride with a guy who offered to buy me any amount of food I desired. He even said he’d pick me up at the next town & feed me just to keep my belly full for a couple of days! We ate together & I felt grateful sharing stories & experiencing the kindness of strangers. He even gifted me around 10 big gatorade bottles! 🙏🏻 ❤️ I hung out at the cafe for a few hours & got to meet more people who asked a string of questions about my journey. I never fail to get excited to share! 🥰 One of the women I talked to even...

I was outside brushing my hair & an older man drove by on a motorcycle & stopped directly in front of me. The first thing I noticed were all of his feathers displayed on his backseat. I commented on how lovely they were & he told me how they were owl feathers that he gathered from an owl that was hit by a car & left on the side of the road. He mentioned how he’s seen signs of owls several times now in the last week & I told him he should look up what it meant. He goes “I DID. It means CHANGE or DEATH. The last time I saw an owl several times I got a divorce.” He walked off & I was left...

Endless walking, traveling on foot no longer being motivated by Spirit. 👣  Questions arising out of fear... Will I be able to feed myself today? Will I have enough strength to walk up these mountains? Am I protected? 💫 🏔  Fear of the unknown begins to dissipate as I inhale the scents emanating from the aina. 🌲 Pine trees firmly rooted in soil... I am called to rest my head upon the roots of these divine beings & be reminded of my strength... tapping into my heart, surrendering to my breath, moments that require pure stillness to be able to quiet my mind. 🌱 Planting my toes into the...

So I got to the Rim Village in Crater Lake. It’s a fancy place for tourists. I walked straight up a mountain in the heat of the day just to get to the parking lot. Once I got there, the cars driving in let me pass through cause I looked like death, completely soaked in sweat & basically gasping for air. I made it up to the village cafe, covered in dirt & smelling Iike a pit toilet. I cried to myself, feeling completely exhuasted & done with life. When I went inside people looked at me as if I was homeless & stood far away from me, giving me dirty looks. To give the...

Thru-hiking is NOT what I expected it to be. I met an older man yesterday, who was sitting on the trail, gazing at the scenery, speaking of its tranquility. We talked a bit & he said how he lives in the mountains & chooses to walk only 7 miles a day. He finds a campsite far off trail & soaks himself into the surroundings. Another thru-hiker & I laughed, WISHING we could be immersing ourselves like that. I mean, we can, but what I’ve learned on the PCT is that it’s very time sensitive. You have to be from point A to point B by a certain time “or else” the weather conditions could possibly...

The past couple days on the trail felt like I was being tested hard. I made the expectation that I would cruise through these couple of days due to the elevation being very light & the terrain being mostly smooth. Of course, those 2 days I was hit with a hail/thunderstorm. I was soaking wet & cold. I was also aware of the fact I had to start hiking at 4am each day to make it to Oregon on time. I was wondering why I am even doing this. I was contemplating quitting or at least skipping several miles. I felt at my lowest on the trail. I was crying as I was walking & felt defeated physically...

I’ve been reminiscing about these really simple times that seem out of reach at the moment. This was my love & I when we first met & were still reluctant to openly admit we have been crushing HARD on one another. This is now our favorite breakfast restaurant to eat at every Sunday morning after church... NOW, I have to hike 100 miles before I can even reach a town. Then, I have to hitchhike to get into the actual town, & from THERE, I can walk to a restaurant. Sooo much gratitude for having a car back in Chicago, & sooo much gratitude for having our cute little traditions. I always feel...

Wouldn’t change a thing about the blisters, the pain, & being constantly dirty & smelly. My sense of appreciation feels like it has been lifted, by the simple moments such as coming to my campsite & laying on my air mattress. Realizing I’ve been carrying a 50 pound pack on my shoulders every day for over 3 months helps me sink into gratitude for having feet to walk, delicious hot ramen to eat at the end of the night, & a journal to express all the thoughts that have been arising. I can see how this journey has made me tougher in the sense of witnessing that it is possible to have a...

Dear Beloved One, I feel absolutely blessed to experience a conscious relationship with you. I dreamt of being with a man that I could communicate with... about my fears... about the desires I appear to have. Through you, I am being reminded of living in a space of unconditional love in EACH moment. I love the way you hold space for me to be vulnerable... the way you remind me that it is all okay & that I am safe to share my thoughts & feelings. I have always felt protected by your touch, by laying within your arms as you caress me. I appreciate your ability of listening to me all ways,...

So, I turned 24 a couple of days ago and didn’t feel much different. I did notice some feelings come up, how I have been feeling more needy. I felt like I deserved money and gifts… I felt as if I couldn’t just appreciate what I was receiving. I didn’t even tell anyone it was my birthday, I just hiked 20 miles and got some rest…

Crossing Bear Creek is known as one of the toughest river crossings on the PCT. When I looked at it from the outside, it didn’t look intimidating, especially after some South Bounders told us it wasn’t too bad, but THIS terrified me. As soon as I got to the middle, my trekking poles were getting caught between the rocks. It was slippery & I had to do everything in my power to keep my body strong against the current. It felt like one mis-step could send me down the river. This was a reminder to cross with people or walk up/downstream some extra miles to cross at a safer spot. At the same...

Oh the innocence of not knowing what I was getting myself into when I began to enter the Sierras. Excitement for what was to come, but soon faced with fear. Near death experiences, frozen & wet feet for 3 weeks, snow burn... yet all of that fear led to trust & acceptance for what was to come. Yesterday, we began hiking at 2am so we could get to town early. We came down an 11,000’ mountain covered in mostly ice. That was by far my scariest experience on trail. We got rid of our mountaineering gear assuming it would be smooth-sailing, but quickly found out that wasn’t the case. We rock...

There’s not much I want to talk about… Other than my feelings. I felt as if I’ve been drifting away from Spirit ever since I began hiking the PCT, which I was not expecting. I have been feeling anger, nervousness, resentment. I have been finding myself in a very “time” and “planning” mentality. I found myself getting short with Fox and I caught myself having breakdowns daily. I caught myself comparing myself to others on trail and trying to impress them. I have been getting to the point where I just want to drop all that. The thoughts I have been thinking have been energy...

“It’s all here to amuse you. No matter what you choose you can’t go wrong.” 👣🌲💫 Since I started hiking the Sierras, I’ve been experiencing a lot of anger, nervousness, & the appearance of pain arise rather than joyfulness & ease. Its as if I have to constantly remind myself to appreciate what’s coming & trust that it will all work out, even if it’s not the way I expected. It feels like a persistent mental challenge... waking yourself up at 3am when you’re already cold & tired, putting on your completely frozen shoes, crossing a raging river, summiting another mountain. It feels as if I’m...

Fox flew out and met me at a motel in Inyokern and we made love. Then, we began our hike the next day. He got 50 miles of practice in the desert before the sierra section. We experienced some challenges along the way. It was intense and there were moments where we both broke down into tears. Fox was experiencing some intense physical pain, along with emotional pain. I was dealing with my own illusions… I think the fear-mongering got to my head a bit. Thinking about time a lot. Having to make it to town early so we could relax for longer. Making it everywhere on time so I could make it to...

I absolutely cannot wait to get into Tehachapi and just SLEEP. Oh my God. Sleep. How godly of a thing. I did over 30 miles yesterday, I’m doing another 30 today, night hiking the aqueduct and then, 25 to Tehachapi.

So, for some reason I haven’t found myself writing in my diary much. I haven’t really felt the desire. A part of me feels too lazy to catch up, but a bigger part of me is still healing from Fox reading my diary. It reminded me of when that happened in the past and I felt like I couldn’t be as open about what was truly lingering on my mind. The past week or so I’ve been hiking with Orange Man. It started when we met each other in Wrightwood. We got breakfast together and shared each other’s company. We decided to hike the next section together and since then it has been about a week. We...

Experiencing hiker hunger is out of control while I’m hiking the PCT. I’m eating way over 10,000 calories a day & it feels like a void in my stomach, AND to top it off, I am continuously losing more & more weight. BUT, I will say, I am having the time of my life meeting guys on the trail who want to challenge me by eating more food than me when we reach a town. Every time, I end up finishing their meals along with mine as they’re on the verge of vomiting. 😅 SO, moral of the story, I think this is THE perfect time to enter into a food eating competition! 😈

So, I had a mental breakdown when I was hiking. I ended up getting two massive blisters on my feet, to the point where other people were freaking out. I had 9 miles left & decided to push myself. I noticed the trail would continuously meander into steep uphills followed by steep downhills. I began to curse the trail, questioning the intentions of the people who created it. I began hiking out of pure frustration, shoving my trekking poles into the dirt as I continued to climb yet another mountain. I was crying, barely being able to see where I was walking, but I wanted to be strong. I...

Today, I got to experience some hot springs on the PCT which was an interesting experience. It felt so good to get naked and soak, yet most of the time I was wondering what people thought of me. None of the PCT hikers that I knew got naked. I was the only girl who was fully naked so I began to feel off when people I knew weren’t acknowledging me or saying hello to me. I did get to talk to a couple who was very kind to me. They were both very comfortable being nude. I actually ended up crying about this later.

So, the Fuller Ridge section was a bit intense. There were people that hiked with me through the tougher sections, so that was helpful! There was an incredible amount of snow. After that section, I ended up meeting some really sweet people. We got to our campsite and they had a bonfire set up and we got a moment to just catch up and talk. Some guys randomly showed up about an hour after us and they were so sweet and funny. I felt like this group just came in to tell us jokes and share funny stories by the campfire, and shortly after, they left. One of the guys, Corn Cobb, gave me the name...

My babe came out to visit me last week & we spontaneously decided it would be fun to hike the trail together while he was here! I was experiencing intense achilles pain so he offered to carry my bag for a few days... THAT felt like a God sent moment... to have a load off my back, I was able to feel extra light on my feet & had the sensation of wanting to run! It was also pretty hysterical cause he had no equipment so we shared all of our necessities. We used a plus sized dress as a mat for him & crammed into one sleeping bag. He even ended up getting blisters all over his feet, & then all...

So, we woke up the next morning and hitched back to Paradise. We ordered a burger, but canceled last minute because everything became Divine Timing. Some guy was giving rides back to Warner Springs and that was so perfect because that was exactly where Fox needed to get back to because he left his rental car there. It was also Divine Timing for me because I ran into Jeff! I felt so grateful. I asked him if he wanted to hike the next few upcoming miles with me and he said yes and I felt so comforted. Later when Fox left, someone in the bigger group initiated a conversation with me and...

I don’t know how it’s possible, but I seem to have hiked 18 miles today… I am mind blown how I was even capable of that… After hiking several miles this morning, we got some trail magic! It was a maple donut!!! And it was just Divine. Then, we stopped at a stream and I dipped my feet in the water and that was really helpful… And so we continued on. Today felt really light, despite all the miles I put in. The more I hiked, the more I enjoyed my thoughts as well. I’ve been feeling really extroverted—maybe because I’m feeling in my element—who knows. This guy was flirting with me today, I...

This morning I hiked 10 miles to get to the post office and I got to see Derek! He was so excited to see me. Oh my God, there was this one moment where we were hiking together and he approached a beetle on the trail and I was like, “Don’t step on the beetle!” And he was like, “What?” And I was like, “Don’t—“ and he stepped on it. His friend Chris and I gave him so much shit. We were like damn dude. And then he blamed it on me. He said if I didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t have stepped on it. I was like your foot was already heading towards it!! So, I mailed some stuff out and I went to...

We all touched the Mexico border to make it official. I felt like crying from excitement and jumping into the unknown. I began hiking alone and it seemed like everyone formed a group, even though most of them started solo. So, I felt kind of left out. I let one group pass and I tried walking directly behind them because I felt nervous, thinking I didn’t know where I was going. It was sweet because one of the guys struck up a conversation with me. He made me feel really included. He even let me walk in front of him. I love people like that. All of a sudden, I felt okay and I immediately...

I am ready to experience a deep shift within my Being. I have faith in the vision of myself I aspire to become. I am ready to keep moving, because when I stay in one spot, I am cold... frozen. When I am moving, I am fluid... keeping warm. Today I’m beginning day 1 of hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Day 1 out of 6 months. I feel scared, yet that is exactly why I am motivated to push my boundaries. ACIM has a line that poetically states that [Jesus] lights the way that we must travel to remember Him... & the PCT was symbolically calling for me. I want to learn how to enjoy my own company in...

I got picked up to go to Scout and Frodo‘s house. Their place was INCREDIBLE. What they did was so generous. For years now, they had been hosting hikers at their home the day before they began their hike. When we arrived to their place, it already felt like an adventure. He took us around the house showing us where everything was located and then we got settled. I felt very introverted. I wanted to hide away in my diary and do my own thing. Didn’t really see that one coming, but I found myself doing it anyway. Eventually, we had dinner and we sat in a circle as they gave us a dinner talk....