I really love how many routes I can choose from on this trail. I could hike it again, take other paths and it would be an entirely different trail. It reminded me so much of the CDT in that aspect. I loved the challenge of planning my course to the next water source, waking up at dark then finding my way through a rock scramble with a dimming headlamp. I loved having to navigate myself with various different sources just to figure out where I was. And most of all, I loved the sense of fear that came along with it, the focus and pure adrenaline rush of having to ‘act smart’ because my life apparently depended on it.
Around 4 am I drove the side by side down the hill in the dark, parking it near the lodge.
“Still don’t know how people trust me with this,” I mumbled.
I’m glad I started early as it was super exposed and the sun didn’t really hit me until around 10 am. The sand was thick and troublesome to walk on. In broad daylight, I accidentally missed my turn off as it looked like I was staying on the main road but turned out it had merged off into a different road. By the time I noticed it was too late to turn around. I figured I would keep going despite it adding several miles to my trip. It was the worst spot I could’ve fucked up as it was in the middle of a completely barren desert with no water source in sight. Everything was dry to the bone. I didn’t even want to look at the dried out creek and river beds alongside my path as it just seemed to sadden me.
Any amount of uphill felt defeating and would require all of my energy to go over it, but I kept telling myself I was doing great and to just connect back to the main road for a higher chance of running into traffic. At the extremely low chance of someone coming down the lonely road, I could ask them for water in case of an emergency.
Today I really thought I was going to die from heat exhaustion. I carried 7L from the lodge but apparently it was not enough. There was a stock pond that still had some water but was surrounded by quicksand and hard to get to. I’m really good at long water carry’s and holding off on drinking unless I absolutely need to, but goddamn, this desert was a different kind of beast.
I found a frail bush and laid down in a ball trying to get as much shade from it as possible. I was still sweating, barely getting covered from its thin branches. Might as well have been in the direct sun. Although it was a harsh experience, I still loved being where I was at. I would choose this over a job I hated or over a relationship I didn’t want to be in. The brutality of the trail felt comforting in comparison.
Suddenly I heard a rumbling noise of a possible vehicle in the distance. I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case they weren’t coming my way but as soon as I saw two bikers ride over the hill I hopped to my feet and waved them down. They stopped right beside me.
“Do you guys have any spare water?” I asked.
They were happy to give me some since they were most likely going to stop in Moab for the night. I would’ve made it out fine but would have been in a lot of pain. I was starting to feel nauseous and a bit dissociated by the time they came. He grabbed his bladder and poured a liter and a half of cold water into my bottle.
They suggested I keep walking to the cliffs up ahead for some better shade.
“I saw it but couldn’t make it that far,” I said.
I felt more rejuvenated and walked over another mile to the cliffs, however the sun was directly above me so it didn’t make for much shade. I walked into a crevice and found a slanted hill with a little shade. I laid down with my feet at a higher angle to let the blood rush to my head while red ants surrounded me and made their way onto my switchback. I looked up at the blue sky with not a cloud in sight and licked my dry lips as a hawk flew no more than 15’ from me. I grabbed my water bottle and allowed myself one sip. It was so hot that it felt as if it burned my throat when I swallowed it.
Man, today was just not it for how I apparently wanted it to go. I was really mad at myself for not paying more attention to my map. But then I remembered my experience in Iceland and past times where I wanted so desperately for things to go my way and for me to be done at a certain time. I remembered that God had His own plans for me and it required faith on my end to trust that.
Once the majority of the heat wave had passed I continued on. I started walking through the creek bed and about .4 into the walk there was a massive drop off cliff where a waterfall used to be. There were footsteps leading there but not at the bottom where there was a pool of quicksand. It might have been a soft landing if I were to have jumped but it was a big fuck no because my ACL wasn’t 100% healed. Also because suffocating in quicksand would be the worst way to die. As I write this a raven did a circle around me, flying around me in a circle then flew off.
Spiritual symbolism of ravens:
-Reminder to use my wits
-Powerful totems for dealing with an unusually challenging environment
-Masters at agility, reminder that I have the capacity to push through challenges
By the end of the night, I was beat. It felt like I did an unintentional 30 in the grueling heat. My hands were covered in black dust. I rubbed my eyes and I could hear the crunching of salt and dirt. I stealth camped a couple miles away from Pelican Arch just after the sun had set.
The cold came quickly, there seemed to be no in between when it came to temperatures in the desert. The stars came out, sparkling white dots sprinkled throughout the sky. That would be my gift for today. I watched them intently and with wonder until I fell soundly asleep.
