Last night I felt a vibe that I really wanted a man besides me to cuddle. I was the only one in the dorm, and I loved the silence, however I also heard all of my thoughts. It all felt bitter sweet. I felt different about Zion yesterday. I went over to Bob’s to do my laundry and Milagros was there, which was Zion’s girl and I just watched her. She was so beautiful to me and I thought it was cute how similar their mannerisms had become. They had very similar vibes. Another bittersweet moment. I couldn’t tell if I was 100% happy for them because there was a twinge of envy and desire to have that for myself. I also noticed how I felt a vibe of claiming I was in love with Zion. I saw him at the trading post yesterday and I caught him looking at me a lot… and the way he smiles at me… the whole room stops. I feel like I want to experience what we did on the road trip. I want to be shown how to slow down again. To experience a space between our breaths, to experience each tiny sensation.
And so with that being said, Thank you, Zion, for driving me around Cali and Oregon. I cherish those simple moments of being driven to sip on some coffee and listen to music. Thank you for taking me to the forest and telling me I have beautiful hair. Thank you for sitting with me on the bench to take in the smell of the enormous golden maple leaves. Thank you for playing on the playground with me. I remember the way Oregon smelled… So misty, like it just rained. And the moss and the dirt. Thank you for reminding me how to slow down, how beautiful it is to take in each sensation rather than obsessing with climaxing. The moments leading up to orgasm are what I took with me. It is ingrained within my heart. Thank you for touching me softly at the Jackson Hot Springs. I felt so loved. You gave me an experience that will stay with me until the end of time.
