I woke up nuzzled in my sleeping bag, enjoying the last moments of warmth before we started packing.
I breathed, “It’s so cold.”
“Wanna snuggle?” Pneumonia asked.
I laughed. “No, I would never get up then.”
“I know what could warm you up.”
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“Blowjob.”
I tried keeping the energy light. “That would warm you up, not me.”
“You’re going to be doing all the work. I could put the quilt over us.”
I laughed again, not giving any energy that something could unfold between us.
He prodded, “You want me to come over there and warm you up before you get up?”
“I’m good.”
“You sure?”
“I’m positive.”
I started to really feel a pushy energy now, especially after having voiced myself once and not being taken seriously. That conversation was my sign to dip, along with the rest of the day being filled with near tears of frustration and annoyance. I knew I had to follow my intuition and part ways.
Another guy named Elbio had reached out and offered to hike a section with me that he had skipped so he could make it to the Grand Canyon on time. He was going back to do it and offered me to come along. It would be some backtracking on my end but it was technically the official route so I figured I could fuck around since I had time. I still wanted to do the Grand Canyon section, but once again, not alone as I heard it was what most people considered the sketchiest section. If I didn’t find a partner by then, I would take a cut off into Zion cutting off the whole chunk then would come back in the spring to finish the Hayduke.
We had a pretty long road walk today. Our initial plan was to trek up to Canonville then I was going to hitch solo to Page, AZ to pick up a package. Pneumonia wanted to join so he could go to the dispensary and pick up some weed. We arrived at a junction with a sign that said the road we were currently on led to Page which would cut off a solid chunk. The only issue being it was a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.
We got lucky, having only sat for two minutes when a car pulled over and opened the trunk implying for us to throw our packs in the back. He was only going a few miles down the road to hike a trail with his wife. We figured that would be helpful enough! The driver gave us a school lesson of how the canyons had formed while his wife was bothered by the fact he drove past their trailhead.
He placed his hand on her thigh as he sternly said, “Honey, I hear you, but we’re going to help these folks out as much as we can.”
It was super out of their way but he offered to take us all the way to highway 89. We were immensely grateful, but then there came to be a large patch of mud that stopped them from continuing forward. They apologized and so we had to walk the rest of the way. It looked to be only 8 miles straight line but it was closer to 14-16 miles. We didn’t see any cars other than a small Jeep that claimed they didn’t have room for us. It was so hot and exposed that we would’ve ridden on the roof of someone’s car without a problem. Eventually a sheriff stopped in his small off-road Jeep that was splattered in wet mud.
He didn’t have room for us either and said, “But there’s plenty of traffic going down this road.”
“Yeah,” I said, “the opposite way.”
When we only had a couple of miles left to the main highway, a large pick up truck pulled over and gave us a ride straight to the post office in Page. I picked up my package, put on my new shoes and sent the old ones home. I studied the map and realized if we hitched back to Escalante, that Kanab was on the way which was where my friend’s motel was! Figured we could stop there for the night and I could see a friend I haven’t seen since the AZT.
We got a hitch from a young foreign girl headed straight there. Pneumonia kept talking about the next section we had coming for us while I looked at the desert mountains, feeling a confirmation that I was sure of my apparent decision to separate.
We arrived at the motel and saw Geniel about to drive out.
She got out of the car to hug me and said, “You’re in room 12, I’m going to run to the store real quick.”
I walked into the room and realized it was exactly where I had seduced those two guys and where Greg had fucked me secretly so that his friend wouldn’t get mad that he didn’t take me on first.
I sent Greg a picture of the bed. “Guess where I am?”
He immediately called me, laughing. “You made my entire day.”
He proceeded to tell me he was on an adventure to go towards Nevada and that he would love to spoil me with some Airbnb sex. He invited me to join him on the road for some time. I kept thinking about how lost our souls were and how we didn’t even know it. Still, I fantasized about the fleeting romance of it all.
“I would love that,” I said, “come find me when you make it out here.”
Just before bed, I broke the news to Pneumonia, feeling relief and in high spirits when the words left my mouth. He appeared off put by my sudden change of mind. For me, it was nothing out of the ordinary. I knew straight away we wouldn’t last due to our clashing personalities. It was nothing personal, just how life rolled sometimes. It was also a learning lesson on my end to communicate ahead of time that I didn’t want some sort of trade for him coming out here. Any meals we got or even lodging, I offered to split it two ways with him. Normally, I hated everything about 50/50 but what I hated even more was a hidden agenda that I owed someone something.
He asked if I wanted to rent a car and drive across the country together to which I said no. Geniel let us do laundry then offered us some chicken she was grilling up. We joined her outside by the bonfire as I drank some Dr. Pepper, feeling like a weight had been lifted from me. We went inside her place and hung out with her friends while we casually watched some stand up comedy.
Before I went to bed, Pneumonia hopped in bed wearing nothing other than his boxers and having left the other side of the bed open.
“Well,” I said, “I’m gonna go starfish out.”
“Why don’t you come in here?” he asked.
I gave him the tsk tsk finger as I opened the door to my own separate room. “Goodnight.”
“It’s our last night together,” he said, “you won’t see me anymore.” I knew he was referring to the comment I made about how I preferred sleeping with people I wasn’t going to see anymore. Overall, the point was that I just wasn’t attracted to him.