Last night I was awoken at 1:28 am to Russ having an argument with Kaden. Russ’s voice carried all throughout Brown Town whereas Kaden’s remained more monotone. Both of them were talking at exactly the same time with no listening being done on either side. All I picked up on was someone’s reputation getting around and a lot of “fuck you” and “fuck that.” They got louder and louder, then people from various rooms opened their windows and yelled, “SHUT UP!” Even Georgina chimed in and screamed, “Shut the FUUUCK up!”
Russ snapped back at everyone. “Fuck yooou!”
After another 20 minutes of them bickering, Georgina says, “Freyja, can you please seduce Russ then go down on him and bite his dick off?”
“Mm, mhm,” I grunted, “Yes, I can. That would be very easy… too easy. But I’m way too lazy for that shit right now.”
When the day got started, word got around Hook now had Russ as his roommate. Near the end of the day, Hook had put in his two weeks notice. When I asked him why, he said, “Because I came out here to hang out with my friends and instead there’s all this drama and I’m just fighting with all of my friends and it sucks.”
I empathized.
“I’ll just see them all on the trail, I guess,” he said as he started to walk away.
Lunchtime came around and I joined Juozas at the EDR. I sat very seductively before him, feeling heated.
“You horny?” he asked, immediately calling out my energy.
“Oh, yeah,” I said, “very very much.”
He said he could tell by the way my blue eyes sparkled, either from having gotten fucked or at the very least fantasizing about it.
“O, Godule,” he said, “I find so much entertainment through you.”
“Happy to provide,” I grinned.
He noticed I wasn’t eating the employee food again. “So,” he began, “time for chocolate?”
“Aha,” I said.
We saw Hook as we were walking to my room so I made eye contact with him as I continued to speak to Juozas in Lithuanian. I threw Hook’s name into sentences just to mess with him. He seemed in higher spirits now, saying “išsiskleisk” over and over again, but having forgotten the rest of the sentence he was taught.
We made it back to my room then closed the door behind us, both of us smiling ear to ear. I guaranteed people thought something was up with us.
“I think you like that people talk about you behind your back,” Juozas said.
I lifted my eyebrows and smiled. “Maybe a little.”
He stood in a wide stance, arms crossed and facing me, trying really hard to put on a serious face. “Now, show me your tits,” he said, then nudged his head as if to add “you know the drill.” I flashed my boobs and we busted out laughing.
He shouted, “PEPPERONI NIPPLES!”
We laughed even harder.
“No, I’m just kidding,” he said, “you don’t have pepperoni nipples. Your nipples are perfectly normal.”
I liked that this was becoming our norm for how we spent our 30 minute lunch break.
“Is your ass firm or tight?” he asked.
I stuck it out for him to get a feel. First he pinched it, then he grabbed a handful.
“Eh, I prefer harder,” he said.
“Yeah, it gets hard when I start backpacking but I lose half my ass.”
I loved when the weight/sexualization was taken off of human bodies. With Juozas, it reminded me of being a little kid, lacking any sense of boundaries/personal space and seeing the silliness of flabby bodies. Unfortunately, it was one sided. He knew he could touch me all he wanted but he didn’t trust my filthy hands to touch him.
After work, I went back to my room to get ready for my interview. I heard Dubu pull up in his rattling pickup truck.
I opened my door and shouted, “Dubu!” then grabbed a couple pairs of pants. “Should I wear the pants I’m wearing right now? It shows them I’m a hiker girl who can be casual but get work done in the yard, or I can wear these red fractal leggings that show them I’m fun and bubbly, OR I could wear these silky blue pants that show them I’m casual, yet very classy.”
He smiled and said, “Wear the ones you have on right now.”
“Casual gray headband or sparkly pink?”
“Gray. It matches better.”
My face revealed some disappointment for him not picking the latter. Sparkles were always the right choice but right now I preferred someone else’s opinion.
I hopped in the car and said, “I’m so nervous.”
I was more excited if anything. During the car ride, I could tell Dubu was trying to get me to relax by keeping the conversation light and airy, the energy up high. He drove me down the dirt road and into their parking lot. As we started walking, I felt a flush of anxiety. Dubu reminded me of my breath.
“Ah yes,” I said, as I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.”
I leaned into that lavender kine bush that he showed me the first time and I took in a deep inhale. From there, I walked into the lodge and that same sense of ‘fuck, this place is awesome’ arose. Not wanting to fall too in love just in case I weren’t to get the position, I whispered, Hold it lightly, Goda.
We went into the living room to find they had all sorts of snacks and fancy finger foods, even some freshly made cookies. Dubu grabbed the one I had my eye on.
I took it out of his hand and said, “No, I want this one.” We both busted out laughing. “Get used to me doing this in Africa.”
We sat down on the couch and passed the time, further distracting my mind from the interview but it wasn’t long before Mallory came and grabbed me.
Before I walked away with her, I said, “Dubu, please do not eat my cookie.”
“I won’t,” he said, but gave a look in his eyes that suggested he wasn’t entirely promising of that.
Mallory walked me to her cluttered back office. We sat up close and personal, her poodle dog came along. I felt comfortable, as if we were having a casual conversation.
“Tell me about yourself,” she said.
I let her know I was a traveler and was just working here seasonally as a side gig. I had no issue with the job I was doing at the lodge, I was simply looking for a more quiet space to work in. She, herself, was looking for calm and respectful employees.
“I completely understand,” I said, “I’m that girl.”
“Dubu and Summer said really good things about you,” she said, “but I need more solid references to put it into the system.”
I gave her the managers’ information from White Sheep. I knew they would speak highly of me regardless of them knowing that I was banging their chef, having make out sessions with girls in the bathroom and hooking up with random customers after work. They knew the real me and still loved me because it never really affected my work ethic. Or, maybe they just liked watching the show I put on.
“You’re the perfect fit,” she said. “It’s the most perfect timing because normally this isn’t the case that one of our employees has to leave so suddenly.” One of the girls had to leave for a family emergency, hence the reason they were looking for someone to fill her position.
During the interview, she expressed that their priorities were to go above and beyond for their guests, to make it feel like home for them, and of course, making sure their employees were happy. That was very important for them. Overall, it seems like a very Godly/family-oriented place. It feels pure in that way.
I feel especially drawn to this place after my experience at Glacier Bay. I feel as if the sexual prowess in me completely let loose the second I arrived simply because I felt I was met with temptation at every turn. It also seems when I’m so desperate for cock I completely put aside any standards I normally would have. Most of the people I was hooking up with were shallow alcoholics with not much intellect to talk about anything even closely related to God or our deeper purpose here, yet I had zero issue having them bend me over. As always, I eventually grow tired and need to come back to stillness and solitude.
After the interview, they asked if Dubu and I would be having dinner.
“Yes!”
“Awesome,” she said, “it’ll be a perfect chance for you to see how the employees work.”
I went back out into the lobby and noticed Dubu’s belongings on the table but he was outside. I love that he was like me in that regard, just leaving his items everywhere with complete trust. I joined him on the porch and had to do everything in my power not to scream from excitement. Now that I think of it, I should’ve just sprinted across the endless meadow that was their front yard.
My eyes were sparkling with gratitude as I whispered, “I got the job!”
He smiled and gave me a deep hug. “I’m so happy for you, Freyja,” he said.
I went to get my cookie, happy to see he didn’t eat it. I sat with him on the couch for a moment. “I really want to apologize to Jayson about my friends coming in the other day. I feel I need to get it off my chest.”
He agreed and said he’s a firm believer of honesty. I went over to the front desk where Jayson was. He seemed so happy to see me.
“Hey Jayson,” I said. “I just really wanted to apologize about my friends who came in here the other night.” He began to shake his head, knowing where I was going with it. Still, I continued, “I just want to clarify that I did say I had an interview, however I did not say I had the job already. And I did already make the decision to quit, prior to knowing about the interview.”
“No, no, no, I am just going to stop you right there in your tracks,” he said, “I know what kind of crowd it is over there and that it is rumorville central. I already knew it was a rumor the moment they said that. I don’t want you to spend another second even thinking about it. You did nothing wrong. I really did not take it in any kind of way.”
I relaxed. Although not a big deal in the long run, I’m really glad I said something. It felt good for my heart and peace of mind. I feel I would’ve felt a lingering energy and would’ve communicated somewhere down the line, so might as well do it sooner.
We walked over to dinner to dine. When I got a feel of the dining area, I realized it would not be that intimidating to be a server in a place like this. There were only 10 tables and the area was also very quiet and relaxing. I seem to always be scoping out hot guys, seeing if I had options. First guy was some young dude with a thick mustache washing a van when we first arrived. The other one was our server who was tall, lanky, and had curly blonde hair. He had innocent, Christian boy vibes and looked to be about 23. His name was Chip. I figured I could go for him if anything. I really had to be careful because I didn’t want to mess up this opportunity. Only I knew how difficult it was to pretend/act like a good girl when I was nothing short of a ravenous slut. I looked into Chip’s eyes and told him it was lovely to meet him, but my eyes were only searching to see if he had what it took. He didn’t. I would break him.
The food was out of this world—beef stew, juicy ribeye steak and molten lava cake for dessert. I gave thanks in my heart and whispered, I am deserving of this.
They cooked the steak to my liking—rare, and to Dubu’s—well done.
“How do you even chew that?” I asked.
“A lot,” he bantered.
We danced around conversations about Africa in between bites. He told me how this is the first time he had invited someone on a trip and all of his friends were in disbelief because of it.
“Normally, I travel solo,” he said.
“That makes two of us,” I said. Of course I hiked some small kine trails with my tramily, but never something more one on one like this.
“Can I ask you what inspired you to do one with me?” he asked.
“I simply felt it,” I said, “it was a big ‘yes’ in my energy field.” It really was that simple for me. I am constantly reminded that yes, it can really be that easy to live by the things that feel good to you. Yes, you can have and give yourself that much freedom, and much more. We often don’t feel deserving of it so we limit ourselves and say no to the things that actually inspire us the most.
Dubu told me over and over again how much he cherished my company and the time we spend together. He didn’t have to tell me with words, I could just sense his appreciation.
“Freyja,” he said, “give me your hand.” I offered it to him and he cupped it in his. “If I were 30 years old, I would hike across the entire world with you.”
“That’s so romantic, Dubu,” I said.
“And bike some,” he added.
We both pulled away in laughter. Once again, I pondered on why people’s paths crossed the way they did. How with Orange Man and I, he checked off the majority of my boxes, yet the timing wasn’t right. Or with Dubu, I would’ve loved to have met him when he was 30, yet there was way too big of an age gap now to even think of anything occurring romantically between us. Maybe our paths cross with certain people to show us that the ‘what if’ stories we tell ourselves are meaningless. Regardless, if I had to come all the way to Gustavus, AK only to meet Dubu, then it was entirely worth it.
Summer came to our table.
“It feels weird to see you serving me,” Dubu said, “normally it’s the other way around with how much you eat.”
“I know right,” she said.
Summer would be helping out as a server for their busy nights. I thanked her for being a reference for me and offering such kind words to the owners.
She brushed it off and said, “I just said everything you felt nervous about such as feeling introverted. I told Mallory you say that but I think you’re actually an extrovert.”
“Why does everyone tell me that?” I asked.
“Because to me you’re really outgoing and know how to talk to people.”
Honestly, if I didn’t have such a hold on a story of needing to make money and having a job in order to live the life that I do, I would be off the grid alone, talking minimally, if at all.
Jayson pulled up a chair, sat down at the end of the table and said, “You can rest assured knowing that you’ll be eating high-end restaurant meals from here on out. Breakfast, lunch and dinner all free of charge.” During the interview, Mallory mentioned that lodging and food is included for employees, stating it’s actually illegal for the state of Alaska to charge people. Apparently Aramark had gone to court for that and won. Since Glacier Bay was in a national park, somehow it got to override the rules.
Dessert was hands down the best lava cake I’ve ever had in my life. My face said it all.
I looked at Dubu and said, “They have their shit together.”
Jayson goes, “Our pastry chef is out of this world. Do you want to take some homemade coffee cake—“
“YES,” I interrupted.
“Wow,” Dubu said, “no hesitation at all.”
Truly spoiled. I can’t believe this is what I had coming.
After we ate, Jayson quickly walked past our table and secretively motioned for Dubu to meet him somewhere. “I want to show you something,” he said.
Jayson walked away and Dubu called, “Wait, Jayson, where do you want me to meet you?”
“Meet me in the back,” he muttered, then quickly disappeared.
“Meet you in the back where?!”
Dubu looked at me and said, “I still have no idea where he wants me to go.”
Eventually we found him in the back office, rustling around for something around his desk.
“There you are,” Dubu said.
“I was about to say the same thing to you,” Jayson said as he pulled out a bottle of scotch, then said he would meet us outside.
Dubu lit himself a cigarette while Jayson brought out two polished glasses. He offered to pour me some scotch but I politely declined. He gave us a long spiel about the origins of the liquor, how it was made, along with random fun facts about whiskey and the differences between the two. Figured Alex would have loved to have joined that conversation, having written his first book entirely about the finest whiskey.
“Welcome to the crew, Freyja,” Jayson said as he lifted up his glass.
I smiled and let him know of my gratitude.
After our toast, Dubu and I headed back home. We made a pit stop at his house since he said he had a surprise for me. He opened the freezer and revealed Tillamook chocolate ice cream! I was ecstatic! We ate it out of the carton like a couple of kids. I really did become joyous over the littlest of things. Then, he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.
I told Georgina the news when I walked into the room.
“You’re going to have to act like a nun when you start working there,” she said.
“I know,” I said somberly. But then I tuned into my heart and body, noticing how content I actually felt. “But something tells me I’ll be fine.”
