Wildflower un-invited to the TAZ and said, “Sorry, there’s actually no room for you. He’s fully booked.”
I didn’t mind at all, letting her know it was all good and simply wasn’t meant to be. Either way, I planned to see Dubu today regardless. He picked me up at 6:30 am, then I joined him and Summer at the dock later in the morning. We untied the zodiac, then Dubu turned on the motor and we cruised out into the water to get the TAZ.
Apparently, I must’ve misread what was happening today. I had told Dubu I wanted to walk the coast, figuring I could do that while he did his tour, however he made a comment that I would be joining for the boat trip.
“I thought there was no more room?” I asked.
He smiled and said, “There’s always room for you, Freyja.”
I felt loved. We got the boat, brought it back to the dock then waited for the guests to arrive. Just being on the boardwalk felt exciting to me. I skipped around and saw a live starfish planted on one of the cement poles! Then, I met a couple of older women who were joining for the tour, one of whom happened to also live in Hawaii, except on Oahu, so that didn’t really count. I pointed out the starfish to her.
I saw my friends walking towards the dock. I was so excited to see all of them—Mulch, Dots, Dax and Wildflower. For some reason, it felt as if Wildflower didn’t want to see me. I didn’t want to be intrusive so I sat on the other side of the boat since they had all taken up a section. I was grateful when Dots held a conversation with me. She always made sure I felt very welcome.
We started making our way out into the water, then Dubu had me come up to the wheelhouse as we were approaching Chichagof Island. He handed the binoculars to me.
“There’s some whales breaching over there!” he exclaimed. “It’s exactly where we’re headed.”
I held the rings up to my eyes as if I was playing ‘I Spy.’ My mouth agape as I saw giant spurts of condensation burst from the water. It was my first time seeing anything like it. It blew me away. Dubu laughed at how thrilled I became, knowing we were going to get much closer than that.
When we arrived, he turned off the gas so we wouldn’t make too many waves and could listen in on the action underneath the water’s surface. We were surrounded by deep blue turquoise and teal ripples. Fog was melting away and revealing snow-covered mountains with evergreen pine trees dispersed throughout the rocky terrain. Sea lions, otters and birds all danced around us simultaneously. Everything about it felt like Heaven. In that moment, I fell into a deep love with the ocean.
Then, I saw my first pod of whales up close, blowing out condensation and showing off their slippery tails. I began to cry from the immense beauty and power they held in their presence, alive and breathing as they drifted in circles around us. I had never expected whales to be so majestic, flowing, most of all conscious. They were massive, yet the way they breached made it seem as if they were weightless. It was so soothing on the eyes to watch them.
I wanted to be left alone during the experience. It’s my favorite way to be whenever I’m taking something like that in, especially if it’s a new experience. It wasn’t long until my eyes were drawn back to the land and the hills, tempted to be traveled over. Everything around me looked untouched to man. I pondered on the trials John Muir had endured in the rural mountains of Alaska, wondering where his footsteps did not touch.
I often think about men in the moments I observe nature. Everything about nature, even if it’s a lightning bolt or a tsunami, somehow feels more natural/safe and at ease for my heart in comparison to experiencing a romantic relationship. As I watched those whales dive and plunge into the dark depths of the sea, with so much courage and trust, I began to wonder what it would feel like to be just as weightless in my romantic relationships.
Can I trust dive into the abyss of something so unknown to me when things start to get ‘serious’ between me and a man?
Can I handle conflict with ease and lightness rather than rage and revenge?
Summer put a microphone in the water so we could listen to the beings speak. I don’t even know what to call it but it sounded as if these creatures were immensely connected to God, singing in vibrations, patterns and frequencies. It felt so high consciousness and as if it was some sort of healing kine music for my heart… something I could fall asleep to.
We stayed there for about an hour and a half. I could tell how much Dubu appreciated what he did for a living and that it was in alignment to his calling. His ‘office’ was the wheelhouse with an expansive view of the ocean. Couldn’t beat that. During the winter months, he would visit other countries and go bike-packing. When he wasn’t doing that, he would be directing theatre plays. The definition of ‘living the life.’
On our way back, Dubu showed everyone a viral video that was taken on the TAZ where a whale had breached out of the water, landing directly next to the boat, splashing everyone on board soaking wet.
“Woah!” I beamed, “you must’ve gotten so much advertisement from this.”
He said he didn’t want the name of his company mentioned in it at all. “I didn’t want it to be false advertisement for the actual experience,” he said.
“Very noble of you,” I said. “Have you ever had a day where you didn’t see whales on a tour?”
“Out of the 18 years of doing this job, we’ve only had one day where we didn’t come across any whales. We just gave everyone their money back.”
“I can’t believe you refunded them. That’s so kind of you.”
“I felt like it was the right thing to do.”
I absolutely loved his take on money and that it wasn’t this heavy weight thing in his life. He had the awareness it came and went, just like everything else.
“I don’t want to be remembered as being stingy with money,” he said, “in the end, I know I can’t take it with me.” I nodded my head in agreement. “Is money important to you?”
“No, not at all,” I said, knowing that love, travel experiences and forming relationships were what had my heart.
“Good, keep it that way,” he said.
I loved how intimate Dubu was with everyone on the TAZ. He sat with people, talked to them face to face. You would think he was one of the guests! I told him it seemed like other locals weren’t so fond of us travelers/workers passing through their town, however Dubu loved us all dearly!
When we made it back to the dock, I laid down on a floating wooden deck, just like a starfish. It was my first time really taking in the sun since I’ve been here. I fell soundly asleep, completely disregarding getting sunburnt. After about an hour, I changed my mind about doing the beach walk and took a two-hour nap at Dubu’s place instead. He woke me up, I went to pee, then fell asleep for another hour after that. Not sure why, but I’ve been overly tired/lethargic ever since I started working at the lodge.
Afterwards, he took me to Glacier Bay Country Inn, having made a dinner reservation for the two of us. It was another high end lodging area at the end of a dirt road. We got there an hour early so he could show me around the place and we could talk a little bit about Ghana. He showed me the game/entertainment room. They had a pool table, ping-pong, arcade, mini golf, reading section, kids section and even a theatre! What a loving thing to provide for guests and employees.
When it came time to eat, he let me know everything was comped and that I didn’t have to worry about a thing. My heart felt full and I felt taken care of. He brought his book that went over the culture in Ghana. I skimmed through it some and learned a lot! For one, apparently when someone goes in for a handshake and tickles your palm with their finger, it’s a sign for a sexual advance and that you should be offended.
I laughed and said, “I might as well incorporate that into my experiences because it would just cut to the chase faster.”
I also learned it was important not to make too much eye contact with the men and to not be too nice/flirty as it gave off the wrong idea.
“That’s going to be tough for me to tone down because I’m known to make very direct eye contact and be very smiley,” I said. I wasn’t worried about it, though. I had a fun time experimenting.
The food we ate at the Inn was superb. Normally I’m not into anything that is seafood or has a soup consistency, but oh my goodness, I ate it all. The bread, seafood chowder, the pan fried chicken with rosemary and wild rice. I felt absolutely spoiled with quality food. I was baby barfing from how much I ate, but I didn’t know when I’d be receiving a good, hearty meal again.
Afterwards, we headed into the hot tub for a good hour. I can’t say enough how blessed I felt. We smelled the smoke from the campfire beside us on the porch. The view of the wild, wide open meadow was behind us. I rested my legs on Dubu for a moment, stretching them out, then leaned my head back and gave gratitude to the Universe through my energy field. Truly, my soul felt rejuvenated.
I changed in his car, then we cruised out, following the dirt road to four corners and eventually making it back to his house. I spent time with him on the porch while he smoked his cigarette and I looked up to the sky, giving thanks to God for the day.
