June 30, 2020:
I came back to the Big Island island a few days ago and I’ve been feeling sort of flabbergasted the past week. My ex, Simas, is coming any day now, and for some reason I’ve been experiencing tension, almost an annoyance type energy. It’s as if I feel annoyed that he’s coming because I feel like he’s going to be some kind of puppy dog around me and I feel like he’s going to be a cock block since I’m interested in some guys here. I guess I just need to be confident in what I’m going to apparently be doing. I guess I’ll see the way that it’ll all unfold. In the meantime, I can just trust and surrender my thoughts to God.
I came back to the Big Island island a few days ago and I’ve been feeling sort of flabbergasted the past week. My ex, Simas, is coming any day now, and for some reason I’ve been experiencing tension, almost an annoyance type energy. It’s as if I feel annoyed that he’s coming because I feel like he’s going to be some kind of puppy dog around me and I feel like he’s going to be a cock block since I’m interested in some guys here. I guess I just need to be confident in what I’m going to apparently be doing. I guess I’ll see the way that it’ll all unfold. In the meantime, I can just trust and surrender my thoughts to God.
I’m horny again. I seem to be really distracted and impatient whenever I’m wanting dick. I notice how I go out of my way to get dressed and just want some hot guy to grab me and take me. Right now, that’s Vivid. It’s like I sit and wait and wait and wait… Why do I do that? I also feel as though I’ve been getting more obsessive about Zion. The crush feeling for him has been lingering. I feel like boys are seriously my biggest distraction from God. Everything about them makes me drool.