April 21, 2020:
A lot apparently happened in the last few days. I came over to Isaiah’s a few days ago and saw Athena was there, and this overwhelming feeling of jealousy came over me… I automatically assumed Isaiah had a thing with her. I felt like crying and so I walked back to my dorm. I think Isaiah felt I was upset because he saw me walk through and I didn’t kiss him or anything. When I got back to the dorm, I saw a trail in the backyard that I felt called to explore… That feeling of running away came over me and I just found myself moving, however this time, it felt like I was running towards God, instead of running towards my own judgments.
Shortly after, I heard a call in the distance and I turned around to see Isaiah at the top of the hill, and I’m not sure what I felt. I wanted to be alone with God, but it seemed like it was time to communicate. We walked together, and I asked him if we could sit down because I felt intensity coming over me. We sat down in the grass and his energy was so open and gentle with me.
He looked deep into my eyes and said, “Please talk to me. Let me know what thoughts you are experiencing. I want to know what’s going on in your mind.”
And I felt for the first time around him that I was safe.
So I said, “I know you want to experience polyamory, however I already experienced that in several relationships and I’m just simply not interested in playing that game anymore. I’m not attracted to that…” I took a breath. “And I feel like it’s not my place to say anything, because this is only a fling. I just have trouble getting aroused when I know there are other women involved.”
He was so attentive. He was repeating back to me what I was saying and reaffirming it. He got confused when I said “only a fling.”
I felt so confident in communicating my own desires, such as the one to keep traveling and exploring the world and that I’m only here until January. He was also super honest and let me know he slept with Danielle the same night and how it felt so empty, nothing compared to him and I. I sunk my head down and let out a gentle cry. It was nice to witness that that wasn’t the reason I was upset, I was simply experiencing sadness, period. He heard what it was I desired and asked if all I wanted was him and I said, “yes, all I want is you.”
“That’s all you need to say,” he said, “I’m going to talk to the girls today and let them know that I only want you. I only want to be with you and I don’t want to play that game anymore.”
He kissed me and I felt in bliss and I naturally became more comfortable around him. A barrier had been broken.
Then Monday morning came around and it was time for the circle. I was making macramé in the circle hammock and Isaiah sat beside me.
After about an hour of the meeting, Jezuz asked if anyone had any announcements, and Isaiah goes, “I do! I want to let everyone know that I am in love with Goda Latvys.” My eyes widened and my face flushed beet red as he continued. “I am so blessed to have her as mine. I want you to be my wife, Goda. I want to be with you for as long as possible.” He hands me a bouquet of hand-picked flowers and asks, “Will you be my wife, Goda Latvys?”
And I said yes.
He began to make out with me and Jezuz goes, “Oh shit, when did that happen?”
It was so romantic, I got so nervous, but I’ve never been so grateful for how a man has treated me. I remember feeling that I desired something like this when I saw the way Big Jack treated me and now it came through Isaiah, something I never would have expected. He talked to both of the girls immediately after our conversation, and came home to let me know, I was all his.
A lot apparently happened in the last few days. I came over to Isaiah’s a few days ago and saw Athena was there, and this overwhelming feeling of jealousy came over me… I automatically assumed Isaiah had a thing with her. I felt like crying and so I walked back to my dorm. I think Isaiah felt I was upset because he saw me walk through and I didn’t kiss him or anything. When I got back to the dorm, I saw a trail in the backyard that I felt called to explore… That feeling of running away came over me and I just found myself moving, however this time, it felt like I was running towards God, instead of running towards my own judgments.
Shortly after, I heard a call in the distance and I turned around to see Isaiah at the top of the hill, and I’m not sure what I felt. I wanted to be alone with God, but it seemed like it was time to communicate. We walked together, and I asked him if we could sit down because I felt intensity coming over me. We sat down in the grass and his energy was so open and gentle with me.
He looked deep into my eyes and said, “Please talk to me. Let me know what thoughts you are experiencing. I want to know what’s going on in your mind.”
And I felt for the first time around him that I was safe.
So I said, “I know you want to experience polyamory, however I already experienced that in several relationships and I’m just simply not interested in playing that game anymore. I’m not attracted to that…” I took a breath. “And I feel like it’s not my place to say anything, because this is only a fling. I just have trouble getting aroused when I know there are other women involved.”
He was so attentive. He was repeating back to me what I was saying and reaffirming it. He got confused when I said “only a fling.”
I felt so confident in communicating my own desires, such as the one to keep traveling and exploring the world and that I’m only here until January. He was also super honest and let me know he slept with Danielle the same night and how it felt so empty, nothing compared to him and I. I sunk my head down and let out a gentle cry. It was nice to witness that that wasn’t the reason I was upset, I was simply experiencing sadness, period. He heard what it was I desired and asked if all I wanted was him and I said, “yes, all I want is you.”
“That’s all you need to say,” he said, “I’m going to talk to the girls today and let them know that I only want you. I only want to be with you and I don’t want to play that game anymore.”
He kissed me and I felt in bliss and I naturally became more comfortable around him. A barrier had been broken.
Then Monday morning came around and it was time for the circle. I was making macramé in the circle hammock and Isaiah sat beside me.
After about an hour of the meeting, Jezuz asked if anyone had any announcements, and Isaiah goes, “I do! I want to let everyone know that I am in love with Goda Latvys.” My eyes widened and my face flushed beet red as he continued. “I am so blessed to have her as mine. I want you to be my wife, Goda. I want to be with you for as long as possible.” He hands me a bouquet of hand-picked flowers and asks, “Will you be my wife, Goda Latvys?”
And I said yes.
He began to make out with me and Jezuz goes, “Oh shit, when did that happen?”
It was so romantic, I got so nervous, but I’ve never been so grateful for how a man has treated me. I remember feeling that I desired something like this when I saw the way Big Jack treated me and now it came through Isaiah, something I never would have expected. He talked to both of the girls immediately after our conversation, and came home to let me know, I was all his.