February 28, 2020:
“One day, I will wipe away every tear and take away all your pain.” Revelation 21:4
As time goes on, I have been allowing myself to experience emotions as they arise. I used to cover everything up and play the game of denial and projection, but it doesn’t seem fun to me anymore as I’ve noticed the guilty feeling inside me still remains. Now, I let the emotions come and go. It’s still a bit new for me. I find myself crying in public if it comes up and notice how embarrassed I feel because I was always best at hiding that part of myself, not openly showing it. I can see how my ego wants to believe that when sadness comes up, it’s justified by something in the world, but God reveals to me time and time again that that’s simply not true. Sometimes, it’s hard to admit that I made it all up and that the feeling is happening for me and not to me. Regardless, no matter how low I apparently feel, I have the choice to remember that God is holding my hand, gently waiting for me to accept the Kingdom of Heaven.
“One day, I will wipe away every tear and take away all your pain.” Revelation 21:4
As time goes on, I have been allowing myself to experience emotions as they arise. I used to cover everything up and play the game of denial and projection, but it doesn’t seem fun to me anymore as I’ve noticed the guilty feeling inside me still remains. Now, I let the emotions come and go. It’s still a bit new for me. I find myself crying in public if it comes up and notice how embarrassed I feel because I was always best at hiding that part of myself, not openly showing it. I can see how my ego wants to believe that when sadness comes up, it’s justified by something in the world, but God reveals to me time and time again that that’s simply not true. Sometimes, it’s hard to admit that I made it all up and that the feeling is happening for me and not to me. Regardless, no matter how low I apparently feel, I have the choice to remember that God is holding my hand, gently waiting for me to accept the Kingdom of Heaven.