January 14, 2020:
I had a trippy inception dream yesterday. I experienced anger and felt like killing, secretly wanting to kill Simas, but I lied and said I wanted to kill someone else. We chased a random man into the forest and I asked Simas if I could have the gun. He gave it to me and I shot the man and then I shot Simas and killed him. I felt a momentary satisfaction followed by guilt and shame.
Later, I had another dream where Simas remembered that I shot and killed him in a previous lifetime, tricking him into his death. He felt so much anger towards me that he shot me angrily about 30 times. Since I knew it was a dream and I couldn’t really die, I felt nothing.
Then, I had a third dream where I was with Simas and we were hiding from my parents for some reason. I remember both of us felt really scared. We were hiding in some sort of basement and my parents were looking around for something and I knew they were going to open the closet at some point. I felt a lot of fear. We both felt this sense that we did something wrong and that we were going to be in big trouble for what we apparently did. A group of people came down in the room that we were hiding in and they were searching for something. I felt that when they opened the closet it would be the end of us and that we would be severely punished, maybe even killed/tortured in some way. I felt so fearful, so I just allowed myself to be with the sensation.
Suddenly I felt that this was only a dream and that nothing was real and so I told that to Simas and he backfired with, “How could you say this is a dream?”
I remember experiencing some doubt because I looked around and everything was solid, and crystal clear. I could visually see every detail and feel every sensation. I couldn’t even faintly remember if I ever really did fall asleep. I thought about the movie Inception and felt upset that I didn’t have an object to remind me that I was in fact dreaming, and so I closed my eyes, took a breath and whispered to Simas, “I just know that it’s a dream… I know it seems really really real, but something inside of me is telling me not to be afraid, because nothing is really happening. We are only dreaming.” Then I took a long pause and whispered to my inner self, “Wake up, wake up, wake up,” and right as they were about to open the closet, turning the door knob, I gently woke up. I remember feeling this deep safety and assurance that all was love and a reminder to let go of the desire to rely on the body’s senses as the truth.
I had a trippy inception dream yesterday. I experienced anger and felt like killing, secretly wanting to kill Simas, but I lied and said I wanted to kill someone else. We chased a random man into the forest and I asked Simas if I could have the gun. He gave it to me and I shot the man and then I shot Simas and killed him. I felt a momentary satisfaction followed by guilt and shame.
Later, I had another dream where Simas remembered that I shot and killed him in a previous lifetime, tricking him into his death. He felt so much anger towards me that he shot me angrily about 30 times. Since I knew it was a dream and I couldn’t really die, I felt nothing.
Then, I had a third dream where I was with Simas and we were hiding from my parents for some reason. I remember both of us felt really scared. We were hiding in some sort of basement and my parents were looking around for something and I knew they were going to open the closet at some point. I felt a lot of fear. We both felt this sense that we did something wrong and that we were going to be in big trouble for what we apparently did. A group of people came down in the room that we were hiding in and they were searching for something. I felt that when they opened the closet it would be the end of us and that we would be severely punished, maybe even killed/tortured in some way. I felt so fearful, so I just allowed myself to be with the sensation.
Suddenly I felt that this was only a dream and that nothing was real and so I told that to Simas and he backfired with, “How could you say this is a dream?”
I remember experiencing some doubt because I looked around and everything was solid, and crystal clear. I could visually see every detail and feel every sensation. I couldn’t even faintly remember if I ever really did fall asleep. I thought about the movie Inception and felt upset that I didn’t have an object to remind me that I was in fact dreaming, and so I closed my eyes, took a breath and whispered to Simas, “I just know that it’s a dream… I know it seems really really real, but something inside of me is telling me not to be afraid, because nothing is really happening. We are only dreaming.” Then I took a long pause and whispered to my inner self, “Wake up, wake up, wake up,” and right as they were about to open the closet, turning the door knob, I gently woke up. I remember feeling this deep safety and assurance that all was love and a reminder to let go of the desire to rely on the body’s senses as the truth.